The Beginning

I wasn't always big. I remember being thin, as a small child. I guess I started to put on weight in first or second grade, or at least I remember being teased for my weight starting about then.

When I was in elementary school, I was in a program called "Gifted and Talented". I never really considered myself either, but apparently I qualified. The problem with being in a class with a bunch of really smart kids is that they find really creative ways to be cruel to you.

By the time I got into Junior High, 7th or 8th grade, I wasn't really fat, but my body image was set. There was no way that I could imagine myself as anything other than as a "Fat Kid".

In High School I started to become more active. I had been camping with the Boy Scouts for years, but as I got older I started participating in more physical activities. The summer between my Junior and Senior year I went to a Boy Scout camp in Northern New Mexico called Philmont, where I was in the Rayado program. For two weeks we hiked and backpacked in the Sangre de Cristo mountains, and I had the best time. I started out really out of shape, but by the time I got home (I spent seven weeks total there, but that's another story) I was lean and mean.

My Senior year of High School was probably the most active of my life. I was in shape. I worked out daily getting myself ready for college ROTC. Towards the end of the year I developed a touchy stomach. I'm sure I provided lots of entertainment for my friends, running to the bathroom to puke at odd times. Many years later I recognized the signs of panic attacks.

After High School, I took two summer jobs. The first was at the Auburn University Printing Plant, doing general scut work and eventually delivering books and other publications. The second was at the University Police Department as a night security guard. I actually got paid to walk around campus at night. That summer I lost about 40 pounds, putting my college starting weight at 185.